You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
