the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
