I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
