the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
