whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
