if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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