sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
