she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I know her cup size but not her name....
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
