i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
