I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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