Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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