Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
