Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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