The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize