omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
