i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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