omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
