I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
