Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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