Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I want to fling myself into the sun
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
