So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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