I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
