I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
