He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
