if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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