I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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