she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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