I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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