Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
