I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
