I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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