I feel like abortions should bother me more
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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