And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
