Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
