walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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