East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
