Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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