I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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