my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
