I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
