i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
