hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
