best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
