dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
