She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
