i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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