He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
