I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
