she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
