Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize